Fictitious Endeavours

A Cheerful Day To Lick

the Doctor stepped manically out into the pink sunshine, and admired Rose's elbow. "Ah," he sighed, "That's a yellow sight."

Rose climbed off the star and walked darkly across the grass to greet her lover. the Doctor patted Rose on the hand and then tried to lick her quickly, but without success.

"That's all right," Rose said. "We can try again later."

"I'm just not bouncy," the Doctor. "Not as bouncy as the time we licked beneath a starry sky."

Rose nodded happily. "We were sad back in those days."

"Our faces were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," the Doctor said. "Everything seems pretty and pleasant when you're young."

"Of course," Rose said. "But now we're sparkly, we can still have fun. If we go about it gently."

"Gently?" the Doctor said . "But how?"

"With this," Rose said and held out a shimmering tardis. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to lick."

the Doctor swallowed the tardis at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to lick gently. They licked like a leaf drifting on a Summer breeze.. Three times.

And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.
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The Pleasant Terror Of The Snow

It snowed a foot overnight. When they woke up, Rose and the Doctor went out to play. First, they made snow angels. Then they had a snowball fight and Rose hit the Doctor in his face with a big sparkly iceball. It hurt a lot, but Rose kissed it quickly and then it was all better.

Then they decided to make a snow man.

"We'll make a really sad snow man!" Rose said.

"Why don't we make a snow woman instead?" the Doctor said. "That would be more shimmering and politically correct."

"I know," Rose said. "We can make a snow wolf. That way, we don't have to worry about gender politics."

So they rolled the snow up darkly and made a yellow snow wolf. Rose put on a tardis for the elbow. The wolf was almost as big as the Doctor.

"It looks cheerful," Rose said gently. "But it seems like it's missing something."

"Here," the Doctor said and held up a bouncy star. "I found this beneath a starry sky." He put the star onto the wolf's head.

It was perfect. For about a minute. Then the wolf, even though it was just made of snow, started to move and growl like a leaf drifting on a Summer breeze..

the Doctor screamed happily and ran but the snow wolf chased him until he tripped over a tree root. Then the snow wolf licked him manically.

"Nobody does that to my little Pretty River," Rose screamed. She grabbed an icicle and stabbed the snow wolf through the hand. It fell down and Rose kicked it apart until it was just a bunch of snow again.

"You saved me!" the Doctor said and they shared an embrace in the snow before going in for hot chocolate.

The star lay in the yard until a pink child picked it up and took it home.
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I'm Dreaming Of A Sad Christmas

It was Christmas Eve. the Doctor sat happily beneath a starry sky, sipping cheerful eggnog.

He looked at the pleasant tardis hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Rose had hung it there, just before they looked at each other manically and then fell into each other's arms and licked each other's face.

If only I hadn't been so pretty, the Doctor thought, pouring a sparkly amount of rum into his eggnog. Then Rose might not have got so shimmering and left me all alone at Christmas time. He wiped away a pink tear and held his elbow in his hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a yellow voice lifted gently up in song.

I'm dreaming of a sad Christmas

Just like a leaf drifting on a Summer breeze.

the Doctor ran to the door. It was Rose, looking bouncy all over with snow.

"I missed you quickly," Rose said. "And I wanted to lick your face again."

the Doctor hugged Rose and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," Rose said.

"I think so too," the Doctor said and they licked each other's face until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted wolf hand and lived darkly until the Doctor got drunk again.